Daily Devotional For Tuesday, January 9, 2024

Another misused and misinterpreted Bible verse is Proverbs 22:6, Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it” (ESV). The main goal for every Christian parent is to raise their children in a way that when they become teens and older, they they continue to grow and mature in their faith in Jesus Christ. So, why does this not happen?

Is it because the parents messed up? It is because their child or children are the incarnation of real demons? For many parents, this Proverb has caused them to become disillusioned with God and their faith. We must remember: this is a proverb, it’s not a promise, though some preachers through the years have led many to think it is. I am a parent and know from personal experience that this is not what some have led us to believe.

So, let’s quickly unpack this Old Testament verse to learn what it is really saying from the Hebrew language:

1. First, the Hebrew word translated as “train” is [חנך, chanokh] and it literally refers to the palate in the mouth. 

• It means “to create a thirst” in the child. In biblical days, when a baby was born, the mother or midwife would take the juice of some crushed dates and put on her finger and then put her finger in the baby’s mouth, massaging the gums and inner lining of the mouth. This would cause the baby’s suckling desire or sensation to taste to start. The the midwife would give the baby back to the mother and the mother would then place the baby’s mouth on her breast to nurse and feed. Over time, this Hebrew word was use to mean “to create a thirst for righteousness and consecration.”
• The Hebrew word translated as “way” is [דָּרַךְ, derekh, darko] and it means “characteristic, manner or mode.” This means each child responds differently to correction and discipline even in the same family. This means that different approaches or styles have to be used based on each child. Therefore, a godly parent has to observe what is keeping with or in cooperation to what manner works best with each child individually. To apply the same style of correcting and discipling to each child can cause a desire within them to rebel.
• Today, we could translate this as “in keeping with . . .” or “in cooperation with . . .” or “in accordance to . . .” with or to what? — “in the way he should go.” In Hebrew, we would translate this as “according to his way.” Not your way as a parent, but his or her way as a child. Meaning, not all parenting can be the same. You have to watch and observe what methods work best with your child in terms of training and discipline. How your parents did this to you may not work with your own child. It could cause them to rebel and go a different way. Each child has it own bents or characteristics: some are extroverted, and some are introverted; some are more logical and some are more emotional; some are more aggressive and some are more passive; some are athletic and some are musical; they have a bent towards good and a bent towards evil due to sin Therefore, we could paraphrase Proverbs 22:6 this way; “Adapt the training of your child so that it is in keeping with his or her God given characteristics and tendencies and individual bents; when he or she comes to maturity her she will not depart from the training he or she has received” (From Charles R. Swindoll, You And Your Child, p. 15.)

2. Second, the Hebrew word used here for child is [לַ֭נַּעַר, ma-ar] and this Hebrew word can refer to any age child who is living under your roof.
3. Third, the Hebrew word translated here as “old” is [זָקָן, yazqin], which “refers to when hair begins to grow on the chin.” In this case, adolescence.

• Old” does not refer to a 90-year-old man, but to a teenager. Again, is this a promise from God that should come true? Adam & Eve initially had 2 sons: Cain and Abel. Cain murdered his brother out of jealousy. God has accepted Abel’s offering but not Cain’s. Isaac had 2 twin sons, named Esau. Esau was a “daddy’s boy” because he loved to hunt and then prepare his hunt for his father. Jacob was what we call a “momma’s boy.” Jacob stole his brother, Esau’s birthright. So, when we go to Scripture we can see that this “promise” did not happen in these parents and the Bible tells us why?
• Some scholars put it this way: “Train a child in a manner befitting a child.”In other words, one should train a child using vocabulary, concepts, and illustrations a child can understand. It does not mean that instruction should be tailor-made for each individual child (however valid that concept may be) but that one should begin instructing a child in elementary principles of right and wrong as soon as possible. Meaning our instruction as parents should be on the level of the child’s understanding. Parents should train their children with terms and expressions as if they were the same age as their child.
• The phrase “ . . . and when he is old, he will not depart from it “ in Hebrew can refer to when they are ready to leave the nest, there may be some straying, wondering away initially, but implies that the hope later in their life, they will have a tendency to return to the teaching of their childhood. The English translation seems to be a promise, but remember this is a proverb, not a promise. God does not hold a parent responsible for the moral choices their children make. God holds the child responsible. Proverbs 2:11-15 affirms that not all children grow up to be godly. And Proverbs 5:11-14 affirms there will come a time if the child rebels hopefully will come to his senses and repent. 

I have attempted to give you oa brief summary of this passage without turning it into a term paper. Hope this helps you.

Scripture To Meditate On: Isaiah 54:13, “All your children shall be taught by the Lord, and great shall be the peace of your children” (ESV).

Prayer To Pray: “Dear Jesus, give me the wisdom to parent each of my children according to Your Word based on their bents, their characteristics, their tendencies, their personalty and in terms they can understand. I do not want to do anything that would cause my children to wander from their relationship to Jesus Christ. Thank you and in Jesus’ name, Amen!”