Daily Devotional For Thursday, January 4, 2024

No one goes through life without getting hurt, or wronged, or offended or abused. Yet, many people, even Christians, have no idea how to forgive. Instead of forgiving their hurt, they nurse it. Here are some of the most common ways we do this that are wrong:

1. We use avoidance. We attempt to refuse to think about the hurt or deal with hurt believing it will eventually go away. But it doesn't. Something will always trigger that repressed memory some way. It is as if we think that ignorance is bliss and will bring about healing. It won't. Healing is only possible when you disgnose what is wrong and then find the right remedy to fix it.
2. We use control. We attempt to "play God." We try to protect ourselves from getting hurt again or having tgo think about it by putting up walls or barriers in an attempt to manipulate situations. Control is over-rated and in fact, what you think you are controlling -- that hurt -- is now controlling you.
3. We use revenge. We attemtp to right the wrong ourselves. How do we do this? We get verbal. We use gossip about the person. We tell others in hopes we tarnish that person's character and reputation. In extreme cases, we exort to physical violence. It is a false idea that gives us the impression that we are maintaing some level of protection from and control over the person who hurt us.

All three of these are wrong and sinful. The only real cure to a wounded heart, is a forgving heart. Now, please do not misunderstand me here. I realize there is horriific, criminal abuse that must be challenged and dealt with in life by proper authorities. What I am talking about is that hurt that comes from inter-personal relationships. Mosf of the time, when someone hurts us, or wounds us, it was not intentional. And even when it is intentional, we are commanded to forgive.

How do I forgive someone who has hurt me? 

1. First, you have to accept God's command to forgive. It starts here first. 

• • Look at Matthew 6:15, Jesus says, "But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins" (ESV).
  • Look at Matthew 18:21-25, "Then Peter came to him and asked, “Lord, how often should I forgive someone who sins against me? Seven times?” (22)  “No, not seven times,” Jesus replied, “but seventy times seven! (23) “Therefore, the Kingdom of Heaven can be compared to a king who decided to bring his accounts up to date with servants who had borrowed money from him. (24) In the process, one of his debtors was brought in who owed him millions of dollars. (25) He couldn’t pay, so his master ordered that he be sold—along with his wife, his children, and everything he owned—to pay the debt. (26) “But the man fell down before his master and begged him, ‘Please, be patient with me, and I will pay it all.’  (27) Then his master was filled with pity for him, and he released him and forgave his debt. (28) “But when the man left the king, he went to a fellow servant who owed him a few thousand dollars. He grabbed him by the throat and demanded instant payment. (29) “His fellow servant fell down before him and begged for a little more time. ‘Be patient with me, and I will pay it,’ he pleaded. (30) But his creditor wouldn’t wait. He had the man arrested and put in prison until the debt could be paid in full. (31) “When some of the other servants saw this, they were very upset. They went to the king and told him everything that had happened. (32) Then the king called in the man he had forgiven and said, ‘You evil servant! I forgave you that tremendous debt because you pleaded with me. (33) Shouldn’t you have mercy on your fellow servant, just as I had mercy on you?’ (34) Then the angry king sent the man to prison to be tortured until he had paid his entire debt. (35) “That’s what my heavenly Father will do to you if you refuse to forgive your brothers and sisters[m] from your heart" (NLT). 

Notice specifically Jesus' warning in verse 35. When you and I refuse to forive as a Christian, He personally hands us over to be tortured. Is that something you really want in your life? Notice Jesus makes it clear that the forgivess has to be genuine --"from the heart" -- not something forced or an act performed that leads others to think you have forgiven that person.  This reinforces Jesus' words in Matthew 6:15 above. 

The person who refuses to forgive, who harbors grudges, bitter feelings toward another person, will be turned over and tortured by those very thoughts and feelings. Every time you see that person or hear their name, those thoughts and feelings will come back and torture you. Eventually you will be so consumed by your anger, your hatred, and your resentment and bitterness that you will no longer be able to be at peace with God nor with anyone else. Eventually, you will be so obsessed with the situation that it will possess you. After all, we are the ones who get the headaches, the ulcers, the insomnia, and the heart-attacks. Unforgiveness turned inward only finds a way to express itself outwardly. The key to forgiving someone is found also in Matthew 18:23-33. Take your Bible and read this. 

Second, we don’t forgive by just trying to forgive; we forgive by focusing on how much we have been forgiven. This is huge. We don’t forgive by thinking about how the other person needs forgiveness; we forgive by thinking about how much we need forgiveness. We don’t forgive by thinking about giving another person grace; we forgive by thinking about how we have been given grace. We don’t forgive by thinking about the one who has trespassed against us; we forgive by thinking about how Christ has forgiven our many trespasses. We think about the fact that we have sinned against an infinite God. We think about the fact that we have rebelled against our Maker. We think about the fact that we have cheated on Christ every day. And yet, not only does God forgive us, he forgives us lavishly. He calls us friends. He adopts us as his own. He resurrects us. He gives us life everlasting.

God has forgiven us of a debt we could never repay -- our sin. This is why we forgive others who sin against us. Their debt or the hurt they causes is small compared to our debt to God. This does become harder when the person will not even admit they have hurt you. Yet, we live our lives as if our sin does not hurt our relationshop to God and we act as if God is not hurt by our sin.  Unforgiveness is not rooted in hurt; it is rooted in pride. We want Christ's forgiveness, yet we refuse to humble ourselves to the Lordship of Jesus Christ and forgive that person as we have been forgiven by Jesus Christ.

Third, forgiveness does not mean you do not report any kind of abuse or criminal activity. You do report it.  My advice, forgive so you are free from the bitterness, resentment, anger, controling thoughts and actions and continue to receive God's forgiveness to you. Colossians 3:13 says, "Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others" (NLT). So, let it go before it too late. If you do not, it will not let you go,

Scripture To Meditate On: Romans 12:10-21, "Dear friends, never take revenge. Leave that to the righteous anger of God. For the Scriptures say, “I will take revenge; I will pay them back," says the Lord. (20) Instead, “If your enemies are hungry, feed them. If they are thirsty, give them something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals of shame on their heads.” (21) Don’t let evil conquer you, but conquer evil by doing good" (NLT).

Prayer To Pray: "Dear Jesus, I have been nursing and harboring grudge against (name the person). I need and want Your forgiveness in my life. Help me forgive them. I do not want You to turn me over to the torturers (ex., those thoughts, feelings and emotions) that can cause me to seek revenge. So, I humble myself before You and I forgive them from my heart by reminding myself how far You went to frogive me -- the cross -- and I release all of this to You. I am not qualified to be their judge; only You are. I thank You in Jesus name, Amen!"