Daily Devotional For Friday, March 28, 2025

Today is Friday and good morning Southside. How many of you would say you are a great listener? Listening is a skill we must learn as we grow older. It takes time, intentionality and commitment. How many arguments may have been averted if each side intentionally listened to the other. Most people are not great listeners because as they are “listening,” they are already formulating in their mind their response. James 1:19b says, “But everyone must be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger” (NASB). Maybe we would have less anger if we did the first two well. I have learned through the years some ways we can do that, even though I don’t always heed my own advice.

1. First, be all there in the conversation. This means you may need to turn off or put away digital devices. Looking down at your phone or iWatch or the TV says, “Hurry up. Finish this now.” I am trying to get better at this one. It is troubling when you are talking and the person you are engaging in a conversation with, suddenly looks down at their watch or phone at some message or text. It says loud and clearly – this is more important than you and what you are sharing.
2. Show interest by maintaining excellent eye contact. Looking at people in their eyes says to them, “You have all of me. I am interested in what you are sharing.” You don’t want to stare at them, but from classes I have had, we were told to use the 15-70% rule of maintaining eye contact. You hold eye contact 4-5 seconds before looking away.
3. Practice picking up on and using non-verbal clues. Many times a hand gesture, raised eyebrows or their faces will convey more than their words. Sometimes a person will talk very fast which reveals they are nervous or anxious. If they talk slowly, it may be due to their own physical exhaustion. 
4. When appropriate, ask follow-up questions to encourage more sharing and to express your interest in this person’s conversation with you. Here are some examples: Could you explain more on this? What did you mean by . . .? What do you think your next move will be and why?
5. When appropriate, paraphrase back to the person what you think you heard shared and what you think you understood. Many times we misunderstand someone based on our own biases, judgments, and experiences. For example, you could say, “What I sense from you is frustration or anger about this. Is this right?”
6. Make the conversation more about listening rather than responding. Many times people simply want to unload, not be given a solution. This requires patience because your natural desire is to give advice. This means when there is a period of silence, you don’t immediately interject with, “Well, I understand. Let me tell you something similar.”
7. Refuse to condemn or judge. You want to express empathy and sympathy to them. Even if what they did was morally or spiritually sinful, respond with grace from Scripture how God will help them with this. 

The Book of Psalms is full of David and others pouring out their hearts and concerns to God. God listened to them. The Bible is full of people such as Abraham, Moses, Joshua, Job, David, Elijah, Elisha, Nehemiah, Jeremiah, Ezra, Ruth and others who used prayer as a means to vent and unload on God. In each and every case, God listened. God is great at active listening.  These seven steps above are excellent to use especially when you or another person is obeying James 5:16 – confessing sins. Maybe if we followed these 7 steps above we would have more people willing to share. There is a huge difference between hearing and listening and what is the main difference? – attention. What gets your attention, gets you. You may hear someone say to you, “You never listen,” and they may be right. When you listen, you give that person your uninterrupted and complete attention. Listening is a powerful way to show love. 

Below is a story I have told before to illustrate the difference between hearing and listening:

“One day an old man was casually walking along a country lane with his dog and his mule. Suddenly a speeding pick-up truck careened around the corner, knocking the man, his mule, and his dog into the ditch.

The old man decided to sue the driver of the truck, seeking to recoup the cost of the damages. While the old man was on the stand, the counsel for the defense cross-examined the man by asking a simple question: "I want you to answer 'yes' or 'no' to the following question: Did you or did you not say at the time of the accident that you were 'perfectly fine'"?

And the man said, "Well, me and my dog and my mule were walking along the road … " And the counsel for defense said, "Stop, stop, I asked you, tell me 'yes' or 'no', did you say you were 'perfectly fine' at the time of the accident?"

"Well, me and my dog and my mule were walking along the road and … " The defense attorney appealed to the judge. "Your honor," he said, "the man is not answering the question. Would you please insist that he answer the question?" The judge said, "Well, he obviously wants to tell us something. Let him speak."

So the man said, "Well, me and my dog and my mule were walking along the road and this truck came around the corner far too fast, knocked us into the ditch. The driver stopped, got out of his truck, saw my dog was badly injured, went back to his truck, got his rifle, and he shot it. Then he saw that my mule had broken his leg so he shot it. Then he said, 'How are you?' And I said, 'I'm perfectly fine'" (Source: Hearing Verses Listening).

I must admit, I still have some growth to do in this area. When you have a conversation with someone, go back and evaluate it. Ask yourself this question: how much of the total time did they share and how much of the total time did you not speak? What is the percentage? Remember the order: be quick to listen and s—-l—-o—w to speak.

Questions To Consider

1. How would the Lord say you are intent on listening to Him and His Word? Why?
2. When you are in a conversation with someone, are you all there or are you already trying to formulate a response? Are you quick to listen and slow to speak? How?
3. In the seven steps above on active listening, which ones do you need to work on more and why? If you did this, what difference do you think it would make?
4. How do you know God listens to you, not just hears you?

Scripture To Meditate On: Proverbs 18:13, “Listen carefully before you answer. If you answer too quickly, you will be ashamed like a fool” (ESY).

Prayer To Pray: “Dear Jesus, this is an area I need definite improvement in listening to You and to others. I can let my day fill up with so many things and by bedtime, I have not listened to You at all. I know I need to be still and know You are God (Ps.46:10). Please help me be an active listener to You and to others. I ask this in Jesus’ name, Amen!”

I love you Southside!--Pastor Kelly